Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[In Limbo]

We still haven't told the boys. Obviously, they know something is going on. But we had committed early on to tell them together and haven't done that yet. S11 is my tenderhearted child and is extremely perceptive. He can tell when I've been crying and just walks up and hugs me and says "I love you Mom" then tries to tell me something funny or interesting to get my mind off whatever it is that made me cry. I'm trying not to cry in front of them, but sometimes it still happens. I'm most worried about S11 b/c he already holds a lot of resentment toward his dad and I can see that growing and the potential for him to think he needs to protect me or be on my side. I am trying to build his dad up to him whenever I get a chance, but he is very bright and can see his dad's actions for what they are.

I haven't read up on the stages of MLC. Can someone explain if something triggers each stage or if they are all just stages MLCers swing in and out of or what?