This may not be at the forefront of your concerns at the moment ... but there's a reason a lot of us have a long series of lightbulb moments while reading Schnarch.
Whatever happens in your marriage, thinking and working the differentiation/self-soothing system can only improve your whole life in the long run. Or at least so I have found.
Have you gotten to the "tolerating pain for growth" part yet? (insert wry grin ........)
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
