It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Well,

Major happenings in "SCville", so I thought it deserved a new thread.......

-Told S18 that if he couldn't follow my rules, he needed to go somewhere else.

-Told him and D24 and SIL basically that this was not a "democracy". This is my home where I raised these children for the past 16 years and I am their mother and/or their landlord. We are NOT "equals" (Note: SIL/D24 were to pay minimal rent which they hadn't done yet, and still has not even really looked for a job....)

-S18 refused to leave and said this wasn't my house, it's H's because he is making the mortgage payments.

-Called cops to help S18 make a more reasonable decision.

-D24 and SIL did not approve of me "kicking him out", so I told them that if they could not support my decision of setting this boundary for S18, and if I had to worry about them letting S18 in the house when I am gone I would have to ask them to find another place to live as well. Remember S18 and/or his "friends" have stolen from and trashed this house with his parties which H left it vacant to the tune of thousands of dollars!

-D24 and SIL proceeded to tell me what a terrible mother I was and how crazy I was (for the emotion I showed during this whole scene which admittedly was sometimes not pretty). Told me that this was why H left me and that they did not want "this environment" for my GD. I asked them both multiple times what they would have me do different.....they couldn't tell me anything constructive. So, they took GD, told me I was "dis-invited" to their wedding (which was today) and left to go live with SIL's family.....

-Met with lawyer, talked with C (several times as I was pretty much "in crisis"), and talked with Dr. All say basically "Finally!" This was a long time in coming, and I have to stand my ground and not be everyone's "patsy" anymore. These kids need to build their own life and I need to build mine....

-Spoke at some length to H for first time in a month. He was supportive on the whole. If I understand it correctly, he talked to the rest of my family to enlist their support and then told D24 that if her mother wasn't welcome at her wedding, then the rest of the family wouldn't be there either.

-Today I watched my D24 get married. H brought D24 a card and some flowers. I held my GD. H sat 3 rows in front of me, and was cold and distant to me until I told him to loosen up because our daughter was getting married. He then put his arm around me for a couple of photos. We hugged and wished my D24 and new SIL well, and pretty much ignored the multiple elephants in the room.

-After the wedding, H and I left at the same time. He was cool as a cucumber again and just went and got in his car and drove away.

-I sat in my car and called back a voice mail from an attorney that my friend recommended. I noticed H turn toward town instead of toward the freeway to head up to dream house where he said he was going. A little while later while still on the phone, saw H drive back up the street now toward the freeway. Apparently he had brought OW and had her waiting while he attended wedding and then went and got her.

-This new lawyer was absolutely wonderful! Finally, I felt like someone really understood and spoke my language.

-Right now I am alone in my home and I am OK! I've realized something......My life is MINE! I have tried all my life to make those I love happy! I tried to be the good daughter, and the good wife, and the good mother and judged my success on their happines and always felt like a failure!

-Last night I found out what it really truly felt like to have everybody that I love in this world turn their back on me!! And today I am still here!! But I am different today than I was yesterday. I am a bit more cynical......a little less "giving"....but I'm stronger and I will survive! This will not break me!!

-I love my kids, but they (like my H) do not define me. I can honestly say that I have done the best I could to be a good mother and teach them right from wrong and give them a healthy environment to grow up in. I have certainly made more than my share of mistakes along the way I'm sure, but they are adults now and their life is theirs, as mine is mine.

-I have decided that I will no longer entertain influences in my life that are not POSITIVE!! No matter where those influences come from!

-Puppy, if you're reading this, I think you would be a little proud of me right now. Yeh, I got emotional a few times, but I didn't back down or give up!!