Divorce looming #13

[K4D]

Tis the night before I move into the apartment. W won't let me take my dog.

Tonite D11's grandma asked her who is the one person that D11 can always trust to tell her the truth no matter what. D11 said her mom. So her grandma asked again. D11 said her mom again.

I sat there and thought, if only you knew child. So D11 thinks she can trust her mom more than me. Thats interesting. I obviously have alot of work to do if she really thinks that. I said nothing though. But it bothered me that D11 thinks that highly of her mom when her mom is having the A and breaking up our family and lying to D11 about other men.

W is interviewing for a job at the same company OM works at. I think she had drinks with him today and I think he called her while we were having dinner just from hearing W's end of the conversation.

W told me tonite that her and her mother got into it about respect. Her mother feels like she is the higher authority because of age and being the grandmother. My W disagreed with her. Apparently an arguement got started about it. W said she will treat her mother with respect when her mother treats her with the respect she deserves as the mother of our kids. W said D11 couldn't stay the night with her grandma and wasn't going to tell her why and grandma didn't need to know why. She just needed to accept it. Grandma did not like that at all.

I thought it was funny that they both feel they deserve respect. I don't think either of them deserve respect. Of course I kept my opinion to myself. So W is acting like the all high one as she is telling me this. I just politely listened and acknowledged as she talked.

Afterwards I told W that she is probably not going to have much to do with me after tomorrow is she. She agreed.

I decided not to go dancing tonite. I just stayed home for my last night in the house. I'm not looking forward to apartment life again. I never thought I would have to go back to it again once we got a house. I swore I never would again. I guess you just never know what the future holds til you get there.

I told her I was taking my 9 year old dog with me. I told her that Dixie our sheltie came to me and told me that she wanted to go with me where ever I went. W said uh huh. She didn't buy it. Dang it.

I'm tired tonite. I am dreading tomorrow and the next 7 months. I am also dreading after the next 7 months. I don't know what my life holds. But right now I am losing sight of any light at the end of the tunnel. I am very depressed about this. Its not exciting for me. I can't believe this is what it is coming to.

The girls have been having attitudes lately and W got mad tonite and yelled at them. Then she told them that just because her and me have problems between us doesn't mean we aren't united on how the girls will act. I was sitting there thinking I don't have any problems with you. You have all the problems.

I guess we do have a problem though. I want to keep our marriage and family together and she doesn't. I guess that is the problem between us.

Apartment life again. ugg...

Kevin