I was joking about those things I mentioned. I don't think there is anything you could have done to change what happened.
From what you've described your wife sounds totally MLC to me. I think if it wasn't this OM it would have been another. I think it's timing and that your W had a desire to just "have a different life." It's funny because I ran into an old friend at the gym. I know her through our kids. Her daughter is 14 and she started confiding to me how unhappy her marriage is. Then she mentioned how she feels like she doesn't know who she is, or what she wants. I noticed her wedding ring was off and she make a joke about the cute men at the gym. MLC for sure!!! This seems to be common when the kids are in the teen years.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
S15 didn't start but came in to pitch in the 3rd inning and we were down 2-0 at the time. He pitched well and we ended up winning 9-4
Came home and there in front of my was my car!! It was in the shop for almost 3 weeks! So, I drove my parent's van to where my mom was working and told her she can drive home as I got my car back and I'll walk back home. It took me about an hour to walk home so it was good exercise. My mechanic is very good at letting me make payments as this was a big job, so that's cool.
Then had dinner with the boys and helped S13 with homework and just relaxed the rest of the evening (well, did some laundry too)
I was joking about those things I mentioned. I don't think there is anything you could have done to change what happened.
From what you've described your wife sounds totally MLC to me. I think if it wasn't this OM it would have been another. I think it's timing and that your W had a desire to just "have a different life." It's funny because I ran into an old friend at the gym. I know her through our kids. Her daughter is 14 and she started confiding to me how unhappy her marriage is. Then she mentioned how she feels like she doesn't know who she is, or what she wants. I noticed her wedding ring was off and she make a joke about the cute men at the gym. MLC for sure!!! This seems to be common when the kids are in the teen years.
I agree but her IC doesn't believ in MLC, however, the IC I go to does... Yes, it does get tough when the kids hit the teen years and I think she snapped as all she ever wanted to be since I met her was a mom and now she is a part-time one at best.
So, if it's really MLC then I have a long wait ahead of me huh
Well, it rained all day so the kids baseball games have been canceled for tonight and tomorrow
So, tonight I ordered pizza and picked it up on the way home from work. Now, the kids are playing xbox... S15 and I are trying to make rock candy for his chemistry class, its not working to well yet but we'll get it. One thing for sure is there is a LOT of sugar...
I went on a long walk when the rain was not too bad and when I got back home paid some bills and surf the net.
Tomorrow morning S13 has pictures but no game so still got to get up early...that's ok as I think I'll clean tomorrow and find something to do as now we have a free day with no games.
Today, took S13 for pictures and then we picked up donuts, hot chocolate and coffee. S15 was awake when we got home (I'm surprised as he stayed up late) Then i walked to the post office to mail some bills and then to the bank. I opened my own checking account so I can transfer some of the auto-draft bills from our joint account to my account. This will make it easier to close the joint account if/when the time comes (I pray its doesn't but want to be prepared just in case) Next, took the kids to the zoo and had fun walking around.
Now, we are getting ready for church then tonight S15 and I will mow the lawn as its out of hand after all the rain we had this week.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Alright, came home from church and helped S15 mow the lawn. Then took our bikes to the gas station to fill up the tires. Then made dinner and baked brownies for a party my brother is hosting tomorrow for the Black Hawks!
W just called S13 and he told her about the bike-a-thon tomorrow (apparently she forgot as I did send her an email about it) then she called me on my cell but I didn't feel like talking with her, so I didn't answer. Then she called the house phone and S13 answered and gave me the phone, so I took it (as I didn't want to put S13 in the middle of his parents). She gave me some obvious suggestions for tomorrow about keeping S13 hydrated to try and prevent a migraine and I said that was a good idea. Then she said to be careful and have fun tomorrow and I said "ok". Then she asked me what is wrong and I said nothing and then I tried to say good-bye and she asked me again what the problem was and I said that I was busy and I'll talk to you later. She said bye harshly and hung up. All the while I'm thinking to myself what do YOU think is wrong W, you are sleeping with another man and telling him how much you LOVE him, that's what is wrong (WTF). I really didn't feel like talking with her as it was so nice not to hear from her all day. She didn't even stop by to see the kids since picking them up from school yesterday and won't see them again until Monday morning when she drives them to school. Now, I feel crappy cause I really wanted to tell her how much I love her and miss her but I know that while she is with OM that she is in her fog and doesn't care about me
Well, time to get ready for bed as we need to get up early tomorrow for our ride
I'm real sorry that you're having to live this way. Good for you for staying strong for your kids. I hope ya'll have a great day tomorrow. And I truly hope that things work out for you.
It's a heck of a note when you can't tell your spouse that you love them! I know too!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Black Hawks lost (not really a surprise) but we had a lot of fun at my brother's house eating, drinking (couple of beers) and playing bags or corn hole (depending where you are from). Everyone enjoyed my brownies
Came home around 7:00pm and then W showed up with her new puppy as S13 wanted to play with him. So, she stayed about 10-15 minutes. She gave each of us a hug for completing the bike ride and then we talked a few minutes about some medical bills. Then I went inside as I didn't want to linger around or wait for her to start a conversation. She left soon afterwards and that is all the contact she had with the kids this past weekend.
I found this in a book (need to find the book again as I can't remember the title) and I read it when my self-esteem gets low as I know that even with all my faults and short-comings in our M, I need to realize, that I did not cause my W to go out and have an affair. Lately, on most days I do realize this but I still have backslides and try to determine what I could have done in the past. This is something my IC and I are working on and I have made a lot of progress over the last few months.
"In the case of infidelity one person has chosen to break the most sacred oath you have taken in your relationship: the oath of loyalty. If you have been injured by infidelity, if your spouse took it upon himself or herself to go outside your marriage to seek fulfillment in some way, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME."
