Drawing a line and grabbing the seeds!

[cire2]

So I stop by her work yesterday because she wasn't scheduled and her car wasn't there. I have friends there. Lo and behold she's working, crap. I politely apoligize and tell her I didn't think shed be there. She was nice and we talked a bit. She said she wanted to come out to watch me race tomorrow or sunday. That put a smile on my face. We even hugged and kissed. Made me feel good.

Well then today I stopped by with the race car to show her and ask if she still was coming to watch. This time not as happy, an excuse about not coming and kinda the cold shoulder. Even stated she doesn't trust things could change and can't get over things I've done in the past. She said it wasn't fair that I came in yesterday looking so good. That just seemed to make her mad at herself for entertaining a thought of reconcilliation and she's pulling away again.

Man this is just killing me! I am finding myself right back at square one and I'm not coping so well. I really want to stand for this as I love her greatly. I'd like to show her that she'd be crazy to pass me up and yet if I try to see her or talk she runs.

Arrrgh! This sucks and hurts. Back to my prayers and trusting God.

cire