Learning to Detach

[kjensen]

Update/?RANT:
Things haven't been very harmonious lately with H. He seems to have more anger: pinpointing every misstep I make. He is overly sensitive about ANYTHING that might be construed as controlling.

He sees everything as negative, 'we always fight', 'you always send emails in the afternoon saying you are sorry', 'what did I do wrong now?'..my reality: we rarely fight and if so over stupid things/miscommunication.. I haven't emailed him in weeks and it wasn't about being sorry..I left the kids honors breakfast early this morning b/c H was being peevy at me for no reason. He later called me at work to see if I was OK. When I called him back the first words out of his mouth were: 'what did I do wrong, now?"- I said I had a lot on my mind and it wasn't about him...I haven't pointed out anything 'wrong' with him for months! Just validating!!! AAAgh.

My C says he is acting like teenager rebelling against me and sees me as the mother figure...He definitely is channeling his teen self..Fixed up and waxed his car and has talked about how great it looks for DAYS!...

Since I don't have experience yet with rebelling teens..Any suggestions? I have said "I'm sorry you feel that way" ALOT lately.. H seems to be in several MLC phases simultaneously: Anger, Replay, Depression..don't know if I've read of other's spouses doing that. Any advice on handling things better?

I'm just discouraged (I know its a long haul, this is just a few days)..I want some kind of glimmer of hope. I feel more rejected than ever: I had put my hand on H's hand the other day in sympathy over something and he said he was uncomfortable with that... If I knew more what to expect and could predict his actons/"script" better I think I'd not take things so personally. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I just feel hurt and abandoned and overwhelmed right now.