Mark -I agree with largely with CVA above- I wasn't proposing that you veer away from the Gucci approach, not at all...merely that you had an opportunity to demonstrate that you were moving forward...
Where I do differ though is on the show of "indifference" because at the moment that is simply confirming something your W already believes - by being indifferent which is the "message" you want to give, the message you're sending at the moment is not that...its still a needy, weak message...that you're incapable of change and not really doing much about your situation...Cognitive Dissonance in my book is king! Change your W's thinking about you through your actions - challenge her perceptions of you...build up the great things about you and fix the crappy things...but do all of this "under the radar" -all of it will be noticed! Especially if, as you do, you have kids...Mark -join the PTA, volunteer in school...all of that is there for you!!! On a plate...what's your skill? Computers? Gardening? Football? Art? Love of books? Read a story? Help with science...school would love to have more help I'm sure! Are there any clubs at school?Whatever - go get involved...
When you have established the fact that you are moving "forward" ...then I think you can start changing your game plan..."I am this", "now I'm that" - then "I'm going to be"...
To make headway, and to reap the rewards from the advice given above IMO, first and foremost you need to be "seen" and "capable" of moving forwards...that doesn't mean appeasement or clutching at invitations offered by your W to enter into another Rship/child discussion but it does mean that when the opportunity presents itself on a plate - ie one that you have not engineered in any way....you should take advantage of it...indifference doesn't mean blanking or stonewalling - it means not being bothered one way or the other...while at the same time maintaining your dignity and confidence...there's an important, subtle difference...and it takes balls and resolve to do it!
Its a tricky thing to pull off when you're so wrapped up in emotions but it can be done!
