Wife and I aren't really getting into relationship talks but; even when we talk about kids we are having problems talking. Wife acknowledges the root of our problems right now in talking and getting along is her OM. She has said that she ONLY thinks he is a problem for me. Evidently not for her and not for our ending marriage and not for our hurting children.
She said .. at the end of the last large arguement that she wanted us to be peaceful and she wanted this to all go well. I believe her based on her expressions and body language and tone at that time. What I told her was that with her still seeing OM that I could not see how this could go peaceful etc... I mean when you bring a 3rd person into a 2 person marriage or for that matter a 2 person sep/div ... how can there not be conflict??
Today... after a small arguement .. she layed her head on her steering wheel and after a few moments I asked her what was wrong... her reply was... I just don't understand how we can't do this... meaning be peaceful... and work on the things at hand. My reply .. as we looked dead at each other was... WE... and I pointed to her and myself... CAN DO THIS... but WE... again pointing... CANT DO THIS with everything that is currently involved... meaning her OM. She said... I know. However.. she won't end it with him... despite the fact that she has said she loves him.. I think she won't end it.. even though she knows it's the only way for us to sort all of this mess out ( I don't mean reconciling)... I think she won't end with OM unless she makes that decision and doesn't feel that she has to do it for us to be able to sep/div in an amiciable way...
I don't know what to do .. and I can't promise that I would follow the advice. I feel very strongly that... at the very least we should both do whatever we have to do to end the marriage.. if that's what will happen with some dignity.. and there is NO dignity in her actions now.
I need some advice... I understand that DBing principles.. say that let her do what she is gonna do and work on yourself. I am working on myself but am I the only one in here that thinks that it's IMPOSSIBLE to not have problems with her while she is F****** another man???
