WAW1 - Anticipation

[Not Much Left]

Mark
I have been on these boards off/ on for close to 2 yrs. I can tell you one thing after all the crap I have been through and I have read Gucci's advice.....just do what he says. I truly believe if I had turned the other way, been completely indifferent but polite and gave my STBXW nothing, and I mean nothing, which I am now, my outcome would have been different. Listen, I get the house thing, I helped out, tried to "be there" for her and the kids.....just remember, she is choosing this path and if she does not feel the sting of your absence, she just keeps doing what she is doing, why shouldnt she? It is very hard to do, to be there for your kids and do this. I am doing it now, and again I wish I would have done it a long time ago. The only responses I ever gotten were when I truly did a 180 and went almost completely dark. Seriously, I almost am begging you, do what you dont think you can do, she will never come your direction if you give her much of anything. Indifference is brutal to the other person, even if they dont show it. My W is STONE FACED around me, she may be the best DBer ever! But again, the only time I heard about or saw a reaction, is when (i) I went dark and she had no clue what I was doing (ii) I did not ask what she is doing (VERY IMPORTANT) and (iii) she thought / thinks I have someone else.

In any event, this is from someone who has read a lot on here, frankly, most people are just too damn scared of what might happen, me included, while doing this.....let me guess, you think if you go away and are not available you think it will be easier for her to just go where she is going, away from you? Really? Trust me, its just the opposite. In fact, like the guru's on this site ask everyone, is moving toward her at all working? It NEVER works. Its like magnets, you turn them one way and they attract, you are in the other mode, you are turning to her, even in the slightest way, and it is repelling. Turn it around bro.

Just one guy who has lived it and wishes I could have come to this much sooner.
Good luck.