Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[In Limbo]

Peace,
Thank you. I can see how this is a bit like a metamorphasis. They say if a butterfly doesn't struggle out of the cacoon (if you cut the cacoon open), it will die. I can actually see how I will be better for going through this, regardless of the result. Not that I'm saying I think anyone should ever have to go through this.

H and I just had a R talk, initiated by him. I'm not sure how I'd score myself. I did try to validate and listened. He is re-writing history (now I've treated him like he was nothing for 20 years!) but I know that's script MLC stuff. I could not validate that and did tell him that I disagreed and that he was re-writing history. Is that poor DB or is it ok? I didn't challenge him or push on it any more, just stated my point and moved on. I did end up breaking down as usuall (bad), but at this point I'm not sure it matters. He is so dead set on my changes not being real and is finding every reason he can think of to not work on the M. Now he's saying his EA is no worse than me being dishonest about my eating habits (I have struggled with an binge/overeating disorder for many, many years) because they are both lies and one sin is no greater than any other. I guess this is typical when we make changes. It's easier to walk out on the b*#ch than someone who's making positive changes and treating you well.

I did tell him tonight that while I do not want him to go, do not want our M to be over (ok, old one over but want new one with H), but that if he feels this way then he needs to go. I didn't say it mean, as in "GET THE HECK OUT" but tried to say it in a loving way. It's not what I want and he knows that, but I don't think the current arrangement is healthy for me or the boys and it's not allowing H to be on his own and have time to experience that. So now I wait and see what he does.....