Hmmmmm....well...IMO...and this is a bit of a 2x4 as our state-side friends refer to it...
I think you're running up against the challenge many of us have here...figuring out the right level of response /reaction to different sorts of communications / questions from a WAW...the thing about the approach you're trying to adopt -and I don't doubt the effectiveness of it per se, is that for you its still a bit all or nothing - as PM said before...you could do with sprinkling a few herbs and flavourings in there to see how things "taste"...
You were offered an opportunity there to demonstrate change, confidence, determination, 180s, GALing, responsibility...moving "forward" -not necessarily moving "on" but getting on with life...
If that question was asked by a "friend" how would you have responded?
Maybe you could have offered a little more without compromising yourself? If she then took up the gauntlet you were expecting you could still have retreated without losing your position...on the other hand if, as you anticipated it was a baiting question, you could still have extricated yourself from it without losing your position; indeed - if that was your W's intention -it would be you saying "well why ask me that if you're just looking for an opening to have a pop? Look I've told you what I'm doing so that reaction is not necessary and in fact its un-called for and unkind...I'm being up-front and honest..." (subtext - "perhaps you might try it!)
As it is I think you put up a wall and headed off that discussion at the pass...all with best intentions of course! Which I do understand cos I've been in exactly the same shoes!
This could have been an invitation to shine...she reacted to your response by saying "you never tell me anything". Is this confirming "more of the same" in her mind? IMO anything you can do to buck that the better...that sets up a conflict in her mind...the more such conflict exists alongside the Gucci moving on approach the better...
Mark-this is all IMO...I too have experienced the self-same difficulty in judging my responses to my W...
Please only take this as an interpretation of one LBS... there are likely other ways of looking at it...
What I do feel confident in offering though on behalf of others is the view that you are starting to "get it" and I sincerely admire your determination and application!
