Come on Kev, you know that's why you came back from Florida. I know you didn't mean what you said about D11. Just be a dad, be firm but fair. They don't know any better, lead by example.
Kevin... Jag is right. They don't know any better. I have a D17, and let me tell you, GIRLS are tricky to begin with... Keep rock solid in discipline, love, and be a good example.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I know. I think I just got frusturated tonite. I can say this. I am not looking to please anyone anymore. The only reason I didn't take the cheaper apartment was I didn't want to end up in a court battle for half custody of my kids and end up losing and having to pay W. I will just pay the extra expense for the apartment which will be far cheaper. I was so happy the girls loved it. It should make a big difference in their demeanor. I had worried that the other one in the good school district would make them feel boxed in because it was smaller.
So 7 and a half months at this place. Gives me more time to figure things out and see what is going to happen with my job.
I am looking at getting them a maine coon cat for a pet. I just don't want to mess with a dog in an apartment. Those cats are supposed to be as close to comperable to a dog as there is. They are actually pretty neat cats. They are good companions.
It will be interesting living on my own. Maybe the sanity will return. I can't keep living in this house being treated like this anyways.
I sent W a text message tonite saying you don't always have to be a nasty person about everything. You used to be a sweet kind person.
I didn't get a response. But when she got home, she was nice tonite or at least cordial. Maybe she thought about that. Who knows. But I haven't been yelled at for the rest of the night.
Apparently her mom called her to gripe about me calling to need a key to get into the house. I told W I think her mom is kind of going over the top. W tells me that I made her mad and I can't decide her feelings towards me. I said I am not trying to decide her feelings towards me. I said but I am being unfairly treated because I am not bloodline. W agreed.
Thats the thing with this family. If you are not bloodline and you are not well off, they have no problem hanging you out to dry if you make a mistake. I have seen it for years towards me, and the others that married into the family.
I was raised differently. I was raised that when you marry into the family, you are family. Period. End of story. But that isn't how W's family operates.
So yes, I have to be the example to my kids for so many reasons even though I get chewed up and spit out by this family.
Strangely, I am looking forward to my new place now. Its bigger and open and a bit more money. But its going to be great. I won't have to deal with garbage anymore. I just have to plan my future is all now. I can do that. My job is starting to pick up. I am going to meetup groups. I am meeting with one person I met Monday to discuss a business idea. That would be great to start on the side. It may not amount to anything either. But I am trying to see what I can do on the side of my job to make extra money.
If I want to go into either bathroom, I can. HA! I don't quite have that permission here right now. I asked W if I could shower in her bathroom this morning because D11 was using the other one and W said no. We guess what, now I can shower in which ever bathroom I feel like. HA!
I am going to invite some people over for a poker party to. HA! By the way Jag, do you play poker?
I do $5 buy in and usually cut that off about 10:30 at night to finish up the tournament. I haven't had a poker party in forever. This will be great. W loves to play also, she has just refused to have one anymore this past year because she wants nothing to do with me and other people at the same time.
W says she may not give me the long table. Sounds like a dispute in the making. It feels kind of good to start taking some stands for myself.
Negotiations my dear watson.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
My W is so addicted to online chatting that every morning, she actually has her laptop in the bathroom and she is typing while getting herself ready. Unreal.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I was late for a conference call this morning because my mind was side tracked with everything else.
Uggg.
Ok. Lunch next week sounds good. Do you know how to play or is it just something you are not interested in? Cool either way.
I think I might go dancing tonite.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Why do you want the long table? Why do you want anything from the house? I would leave it all there and either go buy some new stuff you love at a furniture store or even go to garage sales or second hand stores and find stuff there that you like.
Also, if you do go through a divorce, you can let her keep the furniture and you can take the cash equivalent (which will definitely be higher then it's worth).
I don't understand why you keep engaging your wife in arguements. You should be detaching and emotionally moving on.
Look at the next 7 months as a time for YOU. You get to GAL, make new friends, discover new things about yourself, old things you've forgotten.... Look at it as an adventure.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Fine post. It's true it's all how you look at it. Not too many people get a chance to reinvent themselves into a better improved version of themselves. Use this time to figure out who Kevin really is and what he NEEDS/WANTS. Why is Kevin CODEPENDENT??? Why does Kevin like to be with controling/abusive women??? Have you read the book "Getting the Love you want"? Was a real eye-opener for me.
You DONT deserve this Kevin you DONT. DONT let her beat you down anymore. You have been punished enough. We all make mistakes. LEARN from them and move on. Dont BEAT YOURSELF up anymore either. ENOUGH!!! Time for the New and Improved Kevin to awake and be his daughters CHAMPION!!!
Act as if you don't need anything from her. You don't need her to decorate the apt, so why would you need any furniture. Right now, I wouldn't bother her with anything. Whatver you need go buy it.
