How on earth did you do that?.... I know prayer helps and I do that but that is so hard....I sometimes wonder whats the point....It seems every time I pray for him..for our family...I get bombarded with memories.....it feels good not to even think about him....I know what I have to do....just get overwhelmed sometimes......I work so while I am at work I dont have time to think about our mess but as soon as I am on my way home and when I get home...there it is starring me in the face ....yet again...
I have been reading alot of threads in MLC lately, and it saddens me.
It brings back memories of a much darker time in my life.
It also frustrates me because so many people are forgetting how to live their lives and are just existing.
There is nothing wrong with being a stander, and standing for your Marriage.
But there is absolutely no reason to stop doing things for yourself, and stop enjoying your life just because your Spouse is off in la la land.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do more with my time when my Husband was in MLC.
I think I basically spent over 2 years watching the clock.
I had the opportunity to go back to school but was too afraid. I had the opportunity to visit people but was too afraid. I had the opportunity to travel but was too afraid.
Afraid of what? I am not sure. But what I do know is that although I worked on myself and my own issues I didn't really do things for myself that could have made a difference in my life.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
But there is absolutely no reason to stop doing things for yourself, and stop enjoying your life just because your Spouse is off in la la land.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do more with my time when my Husband was in MLC.
BND, I completely agree with you. I am making the most of this time now, and very recently decided to do all the things that I like doing that I know my H may not want to do with me. I signed up for an outdoors club and am looking forward to activities every weekend.
BND, I feel the same way as you did. I basically wasted two years of my life, waiting. I should have gone back to school. I should have gotten some skills to get a good job. And I cant get those years back.
That is why I am trying to really and truly start my life. I do not want to be a year from now having not done anything for me. I know I have changed and grown, but I did not do things that I should have, that I needed to.
Same with me, BND, no degree, stay at home mom, and now 50 years old. So stupid of me, really. I work partime - it would have been a lot easier these last two years. Now I have to take any job I could get and I havent been able to get one. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I could kick myself.
Don't kick yourself. Start now. This moment is all there is. I've been taking classes when I can and I just quit my part-time job (still work full time as a temp) so I can take more and deal with D's.
Besides, alot of the workforce I see is um, well the word entitled comes to mind. Geez. Half of life is showing up.
Come on ladies, I know the feelings having been a SAH mum and the bit of work I did was not needed to feed,clothe or keep a roof over our heads. I faithfully moved around to allow my x to furthur his career. Then at gone 50yrs, I got traded in, all change.
Bringing up kids full time is huge, and qualifies you for all sorts of things, just maybe not on paper. You just need someone to recognise these skills. Don't sell yourself short,be proud of your achievements. What greater skills can you have then raising happy healthy well balance children. IMO. We have companies here that are now recognising the benefits of the more mature worker. We take less time of sick,have no childcare worries and are more committed.
Something will turn up.I still work part time and manage,more would be nice but it is what it is. Good luck.
