Thank you for your responses...as for a little more background... We were together for a short time before I got pregnant withour 1st daughter. He was 22 and I was 21. He was stationed in Oregon and I was in our mutual hometown in California. I moved to Oregon and had the baby and we got married 3 months later. Over the years we moved from Oregon back to Cali, then to Guam where we lived for 3 years, and then most recently (not quite a year ago) back to California. He says now that he has been unhappy since moving back here...unhappy with me, his job, and life in general. Before the bomb, we had all of the usual stresses...issues with money, and what I look back on and call the "viscious circle"...him doing things that hurt my feelings and my pulling away. The things he did usually involved being unhelpful with everyday things around the house or the kids...but nothing specific or too serious or so I thought. Normal ups and downs so to speak. I have thought over the years that we should go to counseling...just to improve the everyday things, but we always make up, and end up working out our issues. I have never had trust issues...I have always given him space and freedom which you have to in a military marriage. Yes, he has always traveled alot and it was always a good thing for us. He would come home renewed, refreshed and we would miss each other terribly. We would write e-mails that were like love letters every time. It wasn't until we moved back to Cali this time and he started a fairly local job where he didn't travel as much as before. He was home all the time, and became depressed. He told me he feels trapped, and stagnant. He tells me it isn't me or anything that I did, just that there is something inside of him and this is what he needs to do. He is being very cooperative and nice to me. He feels bad and says he doesn't want to change anything except being married to me. Our therapist says he is extremely depressed and confused...and that he doesn't suspect an affair. I have doubts...and have of course asked him again and again if there is someone else...all of which he denies. Not that I feel he would be honest at this point. It is so hard not to take this personally...why on earth does he not want me anymore??? We have never had a sexual problem...we both persue each other and have great sex. He says I am a good wife, and an amazing mother. and he tells me I deserve more than what he is able to give to our relationship. He has barely spoken to family and friends and wont tell anyone more than what he is telling me. We are all collectively shocked and devastated...especially his family and parents who I am extremely close with and have a great relationship. This is the hardest thing I have ever experienced...I have so many friends and family who are there for me and I still feel so alone without him. We were a team and I thought we were in it for the long haul together no matter what. I am going to counseling still but he wont go. He says he will but then something comes up so i have stopped asking. One of the worst parts is that everywhere I go or look there is a reminder of him. Constantly.
So, i haven't gotten all of the abbreviations down...but I am 31, H32 D8, D6 M8yrs R10yrs bomb 03-2009 moved out 4-2009
