Orchid, honey, remember to breathe! I soooo remember being right where you are and while it sucks so bad, you can get through this.
What were those affirmations you were going to say every day? Now would be a good time! You are a good person. You are a strong person. You will come out of this better than ever, no matter what happens.
Get out of the house and do something fun. Go to the movies and watch the next comedy showing. Or go rent Yes Man and pop it in right now. Turn off/unplug your phone so you won't be tempted.
If you need to talk to someone to just get your mind off things, gmail me. Hey, we're the same age and I'm not working either so I've got plenty of free time!
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g