d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

Friday 15 - I just got back to work from meeting with my pastor. I'm so confused. He says I SHOULD NOT allow my H over whenever he wants. Don't let him mow the lawn (even because he wants to) don't let him put D-4 to bed, and don't let him "hang" out there. My H doesn't sleep at the house (he stays at his parents) I am enabling him to come and go when he wants to when he needs a wake up call that if he continues with the D that he will be losing out on this.

Pastor says I need to do this now, don't wait. My thoughts were to let him there when he wanted to and let him put D-4 to bed because he likes that so much. I thought by me doing this that he might change his mind on the D. Like Pastor said, he needs a wake up call so I need to cut him off to let him think. I almost feel like he's telling me to go "dark". My H and I have made progress and I'm afraid of "cutting" him off.

Please give me any suggestions !!!!!!!