Hello...my name is Nicole. I am new to DB, unfortunately for me. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself which is easy to do. My H left me about a month ago. He has been staying with a friend and just told me yesterday that he has rented a place of his own. It is about 15 minutes from our current home where I live with our two daughters who are 8 and 6. This all started when I found some concerning e-mails on his account. He posted a profile and was looking for "discreet" fun. Luckily I found the post the day he posted it but confronted him about it which is when he told me he has been unhappy in our marriage for awhile. I told him we should go to counseling and he reluctantly agreed. Went to one session which went relatively well and then he went to Hawaii for a 10 day work trip. (he is in the military) I voiced concerns that I was worried about the trip and while he was there he told me he wasn't coming home...and he hasn't lived here since. It has been dramatic to say the least...me doing the crying, begging, etc. He called once saying he was having a hard time and felt like he was having a heart attack, not knowing if this was a mistake. I found DB about a week ago and have been putting the 180 into immediate action. I only wish I had done it before he left. For the past week I was taking note of the little changes..he was calling more for no reason, and when i saw him he was hanging around more and I was very upbeat and seemingly happy and I was hopeful that it wasn't too late until he told me about the place he rented yesterday. I had a bit of a setback. Our lease is coming up on our house here in about another month and he wants me to find a place close by so that he can see the kids. I want to move back to our hometown (2 hours away) to be closer to family. Like I said he is in the military and for the entirety of our marriage I have followed him and his career. He leaves on a moments notice and I have a job and a few friends here but not at all the support I would have back home. What I am looking for is advice on weather I can DB from that distance, if it will help for him to finally see the reality of leaving us...or if it will be harder to DB and hopefully have him change his heart and mind. Am I wasting my time? I feel so defeated already that he actually rented a new place. I am a strong person. I know I can implement all of the techniques...I just don't know what to do...he says he always wants to take care of us...just not be married anymore. I think he is having an early MLC, from what i read in the book...but it just seems so hopeless. I am crushed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. By the way, we have been married for 8 years, together for 10.
