AFWAW...I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. You are also so conflicted. You want her back, but you don't because of how she is treating you, and its unclear if she will ever come back anyway as she is waffling all the time, so what's the point? Its a very sad situation.
I have to say that each time you talk to W and she gives you grief about maybe being "vindictive", I can't quite understand why you are trying to act like you don't know what she means. I mean, if you do end up exposing all of them, then it will have all been just lies from you about "not knowing what she means". And that may have devastating effects on your relationship with her forever. You and she will always have to co-parent so....I can't see the reasoning behind acting like you don't know what she means. You DO know it and you ARE considering exposing...so why not just either tell her you aren't going to discuss it, or tell her the truth? I mean, if you are really going to do it, what harm is there in her knowing about it first? She can't do anything to change it if its going to happen, and you won't be lying at least. Or else, just tell her you refuse to discuss ANY of this anymore at all. Just my thoughts...
I hope you are doing ok, I think we all worry about you.
