Peeling the Onion

[Bagheera]

Now that I've completely corrupted LG's thread....

One final note regarding this position discussion:

Obviously, every couple is going to have a different "anatomical match-up" during intercourse. So what works really well my wife and myself may not work you and your H. We've also noted that as we age, and especially as my wife experienced each additional childbirth, that things changed enough for us to have to make modifications to what "worked" for us previously and even go exploring for something new when an old position stopped working for either one of us. Don't be afraid to explore!

A healty sex-life should be a combination of the tried-and-true and the familiar with the occasional foray into the new or the exotic. My wife and I have about 3-4 familiar 'routines' that work well for us and that we can fall into easily now, but at least once every couple of weeks or so, I take us into 'experimental' territory either in my approach, location, or actions. Sometimes it works, and sometimes we end up laughing over the flop, but it's still fun and intimate. When it works well, it might even be placed in the 'routine' catagory for a bit, only to be displaced later on down the road when it gets old.

Yes, I know that when you are trying to recover an SSM, all of the above may sound like a pipe-dream. But you can get there, little by little. As DQ says, -communication- between partners about SEX (gasp!) and about what each person likes, doesn't like, or wants to potentially explore is essential. It may feel incredibly awkward for both of you in the beginning, but with a few months of practice, you'll be surprise at what either of you can bring up as a topic of discussion or just a quick question / comment.