My XH left in 2005. We were divorced in 2007. A few people STILL call and tell me about his R with the OW. These people seem to think I still care. True - it used to bother me to hear that stuff, but now I just smile and change the subject.
The trick is to not give any headroom to these stories. Some people tell you these things for many reasons -- but (no matter what their motive) if they don't get a reaction out of you, they will eventually quit telling you.
You may, on a subconscious level, want to hear these stories because it gives you more inside information about your XH. But the info may not necessarily be true, and none of it is good for you in the long run. It keeps you tied to an unhealthy situation.
As far as your XH keeping the talk going about you, who knows? And in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?
Renee, if you aren't already doing so, you should start a journal. Write down your anxieties, fears, etc. It's good therapy. Then, in a couple of years, you can go back and read what you wrote and wonder why you gave so much valuable time to a couple of losers.
Last night I read my journal of 2006 and I cannot believe what a jerk my XH was. Most of all, I can't believe that I made myself sick with worry over him and his OW. They're not worth it!
