"That's why I was hopeful this past weekend -- she seemed sincere. Her pulling away since shows me that she isn't"
That is a huge assumption. If you want certainty and blind unwavering commitment, you may as well give up now.
You WILL both have doubts, there will be movement forward and back, and you WERE very hurt. Acknowledge the risks, accept the consequences, and CHOOSE whether to proceed in light of the risks. If you won't risk the pain, loneliness, and hurt, then move on with the D, for without embracing the risk, there will be no chance of the intimacy you both seek.
Your words reek of sliding back to being the victim here. Stop the slide. You don't like the vicious circle, so stop joining in.
