" I'm getting tired of her yanking my heart back every time I've successfully detached, and then doing nothing with it. Do you know many people on these boards NEVER successfully detach, emotionally? They try and they try, and they just can't do it. I've done it four, five, six times! And each time, I let myself get sucked right back in, only to get my heart squashed again. I'm not saying that's happened yet, but I can SEE it happening again, and I don't know what to do about it. \:\("
Puppy, the secret to real intimacy is to be able to stay detached. This actually has a lot to do with the brand of alpha-maleness that Frank-D is trying to get at. (Though, you don't have to stuff or hide your feelings to do so. A real alpha-male can share feelings directly precisely because they are individuated/detached.)
If you SEE it happening again, why not be direct about it: "I gotta say, I see us slipping into old patterns and I don't like it. Count me out."
