What if you instead actually say outloud, though it can be to yourself, a few times in a confident and sincere voice: "I was so hurt last night after I exposed by heart to W and got nothing back. I wanted to feel love and instead I felt a desparate emptiness. I was soooo sad and scared. It really is terrifying to open myself to these emotional risks, but it is my choice, and I think the risks are worth it because of the potential for a great M that I see."
I guess that's because I DON'T see it, Oldtimer. I mean, I know the potential is THERE, but I only see it to the degree that my wife is sincere about her issues and wants to join me in working at this thing. That's why I was hopeful this past weekend -- she seemed sincere. Her pulling away since shows me that she isn't, and therefore I end up NOT hopeful -- at all -- and therefore I would never risk the kind of pain and loneliness and hurt you describe in such a statement.
