Is there any reason why you wanted to have dinner with her tonight? It seems pretty fast to me, but I hope it all goes well.
Its not a 1 on 1 dinner. The boys and I were goimg to have dinner at the park like we had the last 2 weeks since my 3 year old started baseball. My wife had joined us the last 2 weeks for dinner (she asked) before the game.
I just figured I would ask this time around
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
It was a nice gesture for you to ask. Glad to hear things are going smoothly. I totally understand what you felt like on Mother's Day. I felt the same way when they first moved out. I was a total mess and had to get out of the house to get my mind off of them.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Score one for going! Glad it worked out. Enjoy the dinner and keep your cool. Be calm and cordial
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
It was an ok time. We ate dinner (take out chinese) at the park pavillion. We chatted lightly. I asked about her work and various things about her (nothing about our relationship). She had baked a cake for an office B'day. About half was left so when we and the boys were done eating she offered it as dessert. I complimented her on how good it was.
Then baseball started. I didn't get to chat with her much as our 7 year old wanted to play in the park playground so I stayed with my 3 year old as my wife went with my 7 year old. I could see she was just sitting on the bench so I called her on her cell and chatted lightly
During a water break for my 3 year old we sat with my wife. She commented that she was getting cold. I got my sweatshirt from my truck for her and went back to the game with my 3 year old.
When baseball was over, she gave the boys hugs and kisses and said goodbye to me (no hug or kiss).
There was no call tonite where she was upset like the last 2 times we met up for dinner before baseball. Couldn't really tell how it went as we really only were together for about 30 minutes.
Oh well, back to Dark/Dim until Sunday's brunch
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Not too much yesterday. Just a couple of emails/text/phone call on tactical stuff.
She called me last nite after the kids went to bed for help with her Ipod. I put her library onto a portable harddrive so she could get it set up on her new laptop. She was running into problems. I tried to help her over the phone, but she wasn't gettting anywhere and was getting really frustrated. Ultimately offered that she could bring over her laptop and I could try and get it set up. She said that she had enough dealing with it that nite and was going to bed.
Dark/Dim continues.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Very odd this morning - no text/emails or calls. I'm getting a little anxious. I'm tempted to call - as I do have a tactical question for her that I was waiting on for her to initiate contact.
Don't know if that's the right thing to do....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I know I have to detach. It comes and goes, so I guess I'm really not detached.
I was bummed that I really didn't get a chance to spend much time with her when we were at my 3 year old's baseball game. My 7 year old wanted to go play on the climber/swings instead so she went with him and I stayed with my 3 year old. I had thought we would have gotten to spend more time together.
I did have fun with my 3 year old and had gotten annoyed with my 7 year old for doing that. I know it was wrong to be annoyed with my 7 year old as he was just being a 7 year old. I think part of it was that it all started when the coach was talking to us and my 7 year old kept interrupting so I asked him to wait. He then started to cry/sulk and went to my wife saying he wanted to play on the swing/climber instead.
I tried to make it up to him last nite and we had his favorite dinner as a surprise (domino's pizza - I know, go figure).
Oh well.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Keep it up. You're doing great. Remember it's all about doing 180's and being CONTROLING is something A LOT of us need to work on. Your 7 yr old is also NOT in control either. It's very hard on them not to be able to have control over their lives let alone having to choose which parent or whose house they are going to. It's a good idea to have your kids make a lot of everyday choices to give them a feeling of some control in their lives. I always am giving my daughter choices to give her some sense of comfort in this chaos. Do you want to wear this shirt or that one? Do you want pancakes or cereal? Which of these 3 books do you want me to read with you? It really helped with her attitude and security.
Score one for going!