markhaving probs dropping the rope

[goingtofixME]

OUCH! gucci! Certainly food for thought. I do have some questions and comments.

I fell in love with the man my husband said he wanted to be. I called him on his immaturity for years. Standard excuse was I'm young and this is all new. To be honest letting it go on for so many years wasn't smart on my part. I often wonder if I'm not more pissed at the fact that I should have kicked him out a long time ago than him doing exactly what I predicted would happen ages ago.

I do suffer from low self esteem. I am working on this. Believe it or not this is the thing I think has been the constant in my relationships. I have let in some really immature guys because I believe I can help them.

I have questioned myself many times in the last few weeks about why I would want this man back in my life. I have to be honest and say that he didn't bring much into our relationship at all. In fact, what he brought was a fantasy I had built up in my head and not the reality that I was living day to day.

I still have some of his things here at the house. I plan on boxing them and the rest of my marriage memories up. What do I do with his things?

Divorce? I feel that me going out and paying for the divorce is me enabling him again. I feel that he should have to do the growup thing and file for this. I do realize that he probably won't and have made plans to file myself in November if he doesn't man up.

I am working on me, gucci. I am working on my self worth. I am an educated woman and I am even furthering my education as we speak by attaining my BSN. I am overweight due to a condition, but I am finally losing weight (42.8lbs lost since the split). I am by no means an ugly woman.

Thanks for the help. I would appreciate any other words of advice you could muster in my case.