.... just because there's a certain level of validation she "needs", it doesn't mean it's something healthy for her to have. External validation, at the end of the day, is nothing more than a pretty crutch if it's doing for you what you can't do for yourself.
IC -- GOOD IC -- for her is probably essential to break the cycle.
Choc, I'm really glad you've BOTH apparently pulled back from the brink and are genuinely trying.
I'll second that! I hadn't thought of it that way, but that's the crux of the matter--she needs to be able to validate herself. Nothing else will ever be enough until she can do that herself. It's a learned skill.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
