Still praying for your sitch, DC. Specifically that you and your atty would find favor with Hizzoner, and that he would rule the way is best for your daughter.
Puppy
I truly appreciate it - and congratulations on your recent turnaround. My Bible verse this morning was:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. ~ Romans 8:28
I figure that wasn't the first impression she wanted to leave on the judge; She didn't show up and the representing attorney basically admitted that my affidavit was factual while objecting to it - especially since they never even filed a response to it. The judge said "Thanks for the humor this morning" as the attorney representing her was leaving the courtroom.
My attorney said W may have made a fatal error in agreeing to let me freeze the assets she was wanting rather than turning them over, because her L may not be getting paid.
Now all the bullying they were attempting on me to get me to roll over is about to come back to bite them.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
That is one of my top 5 favorite verses, esp. when going thru tough times. Because I don't believe God LIKES divorce, nor is it His perfect will for our marriages, I DO think He can use the circumstances and work them to our advantage if we trust, and that is what that verse refers to.
My other faves:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding."
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
D1 was finished eating when I went to see her this morning. She was drinking milk from her sippie cup, and I picked her up and carried her into the nursery. She started walking behind a rocking chair, and peeking out and smiling and saying "DADA" and then going back behind it. She was very talkative this morning - gibberish mostly - but she seemed pretty convincing when she sees me and starts saying "Da Da" quite a bit. I picked her up and held her, and she rested her head on my shoulder. I discussed a few things with the daycare worker, and D1 kept looking at her, then leaning against me smiling, then leaning back up, then back against me smiling. The daycare worker said "I see you loving on your daddy." I handed D1 to the worker when it was time to leave, and when I said "bye bye" D1 started crying and reaching out to me. The worker said "I forgot we weren't supposed to say the 'b' word."
Reflecting on yesterday - I hate the situation I'm in. I think the only way the hearing could have gone better yesterday was if W had shown up and exploded Perry Mason-style on the stand. Even still - as good as I've laid out my long-term strategy there will be a sort of sadness because I am grieving the loss of my relationship, as well as the loss of relationships I had built with her family.
W's legal strategy appears to have collapsed, and the "defense" made against my allegations and motion appeared to be disorganized and petty, and I'm not sure this attorney is used to operating on defense when she is representing the Plaintiff. Meanwhile I've got several more areas to start hitting (with righteous indignation since they attempted to hit those same areas first) and a plan B in mind should our motion fail.
I'm not sure if it is a good sign or a bad sign, but I was listening and observing impassively everything that transpired in court - with little concern how things ultimately turned out this round. I do have faith that things will turn out as they should in the end regardless.
The judge seemed very sharp and attentive to detail, organized, straightforward, and able to see through b.s. of the stand-in attorney quite nicely. I liked him, and although I didn't get the opportunity to speak (my attorneys made an oral motion for him to rule based on my affidavit since W didn't show up and never filed a response), he at least knows I cared enough to show up, and was organized enough to have all the evidence there.
I'm not sure when we'll hear something on an order, but I imagine it will be this week. I'm meeting with my IC tomorrow, hoping to work out my emotions a bit and explain my thought process and the events of the week.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
THIS MATTER coming on the 12th day of May 2009, was submitted on the Defendant's Motion for Psychological Evaluation of the Plaintiff. Upon due consideration of same, and with argument of counsel, the Court is of the opinion that the following order is due to be entered. Accordingly, it is therefore,
ORDERED, ADJUDGED, AND DECREED by the Court:
1. Defendant's Motion is granted. 2. Attorneys are directed to select a doctor to perform the evaluation. The Defendant, DCBHM, shall pay all cost associated with the psychological evaluation. 3. This cause is now set for TRIAL on the 13th day of July 2009 at 9:00am. 4. The psychological evaluation shall be completed prior to the above trial date.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
D1 was eating a biscuit when I got there this morning. She tripped and fell and got upset because of that, so I had to hold her while she cried for a little while. She got her pacifier and calmed down, then she got happy and wanted to walk around behind the rocking chair again. I gave her a kiss and didn't say "bye" this time and sort of snuck out.
Now we just have to see how things continue to play out.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
D1 was playing by herself in the nursery this morning. I poked my head around the corner and said "Who's here?" and she said "Da da" and walked around to me. I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder. I sat down in a rocking chair and rocked her for about five minutes while she said "da da" a bunch. Eventually she slid down and went to play with some toys. I snapped a picture on my cell phone of her sticking her tongue out. I crawled around on the floor for a bit with her, and tried to get her interested in something else when I left but she started crying. I picked her up and handed her to one of the workers who kept her attention while I left.
I also handed Queen W my monthly tribute (child support). She looked less than thrilled but said "thank you." She is also looking as if there is the possibility of a pregnancy by OM, which may further short-circuit her case.
I met with my IC yesterday... and that went well. I have made a lot of progress since our last meeting. Most people allow themselves to become enmeshed in these relationships, and I found that I always keep a solid sense of self and don't lose myself to relying on someone else. I have been distancing myself quite effectively recently, especially since she didn't bother checking in on the boys on Mother's Day.
The good news is that I've completely altered the dynamics of W's case. The only bad news is that I've been so effective at doing so the Judge has ordered a drop of all the b.s. delay tactics and has set my D for trial in July. The average length of these where I live is 1.5 years. I'm going to knock it out in 5 months. Two months ago my attorney told me to "seriously consider" giving W $8,000 for guaranteed every other weekend visitation with D1 for 60 days. Now I'm on the verge of taking everything I asked for in my answer/counter-claim.
My attorneys have been trying to keep up with me, and I've been regularly checking in with them on my weak points. I've got several more surprises to hit them with shortly, so if anyone needs "war mode" consultation later on let me know.
This isn't how I wanted my M to end up. But W has given me no time to even catch my breath, much less make any overtures towards even maintaining a friendly relationship with me. I absolutely will not pull any punches when it comes to making sure I have a relationship with D1. W would have been happy cutting me out completely.
I wouldn't be surprised if she now refuses to participate in the D.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Is there any way that the testing won't bring up anything? IF that happens, then what?
It is extremely difficult to "cheat" the testing. If she is diagnosed through the testing - this is over. If she somehow manages to pass it - I have to focus on her behavior that I've documented.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Had a good time with D1 today. Did the mall, chik fil a, home, playing tea party, and then having her fuss and complain because she was tired and didn't want to go to sleep and didn't want to stay awake and you know the drill...
During the pickup W/MIL showed off a new sleep blanket they had bought, but as before when I hit them hard at the first hearing I get the "elephant in the room" treatment where they pretend like nothing is happening. Same thing when they came to get her... standing around with one of those uncomfortable silences as if they are waiting for me to say something. Quite frankly I'm done making offers considering every single one has been rebuffed.
I'm guessing it just does not compute considering she thought this was going to be a "Blame H for everything" case and now the Plaintiff is on the run from the Defendant.
Her attorney's entire game plan was DELAY DELAY DELAY hoping I would run out of money or would "calm down" but now the Judge has gotten a pretty good idea seeing the pattern of filings and my affidavit being unchallenged.
So now... holding all the cards... how do I feel about my M?
My W was willing to shut me out of D1's life if she could. She was willing to accusing me of molesting her. She was willing to accuse me of abuse. She was willing to basically create legal hell for me - she just lacked the mental capacity to target the right places and luckily I'm a legal ninja having had enough experience. She has virtually ignored my boys... even though one of them made her a mother's day present, she barely acknowledged it. Finally - she has made no move back towards the M - and likely won't until reality hits her like a sledgehammer if she loses everything to me.
That doesn't make me happy... I didn't want my relationship to end like this. The curse of me being so good at "winning" in court is that I hate doing what I have to do. It does not please me to do things which hurt people I cared about. Then again they haven't shown much hesitation in going after me - so there you go.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
