Stay upbeat as best you can. You have to look on whatever comes your way as a matter of fact and nothing else. You have been through such a lot of ups and downs lately and unfortunately I don't think it's over yet. (the turmoil)
I think it was an impulse act by your H. He is looking for strength from you and you have none to give. He doesn't seem to be able to realise that HE must find it within himself and can't expect you to be there 100% of the time.
I think he will still ebb and flow a little yet. Question is, do you want to go with that or have you hd enough yourself.
Whichever way it goes, it won't be easy. I am in a new relationship, a very happy one, but there is still a lot of mess hanging over my head and I haven't manage to dislodge all the upset that was caused by my W breaking up my family. I am getting there and the majority of the time I am Ok, but now and again I just feel tired of it all. With you, it's even tougher as you are on your own and have no 'sounding board' or arms to comfort you. (I am here virtually for you, but it's not the same!)
I had a rush of feelings shortly after I gave up drinking and I was SO happy to even be crying. (weird but true) I had been emotinally 'flat' for many months. I wasn't drinking that much, but combined with my AD's, it affected me. From that time, I know that I can feel, act and respond with emotion and it's a lovely thing to do. Maybe H hasn't acheived that yet or is afraid of it?.
I know you will be OK whatever the outcome as you have found so much more of Kassie than perhaps even YOU knew about!
