You are right! If he just decides to up and leave, I am better off. I have been on my own many times and I have done fine. I just have never wanted to do that.
But, I do have more friends than I had a week ago and it is an amazing thing! I feel grateful and a bit like I have an ace up my sleeve with all of you helping me along.
I am mad this morning. Just woke up that way. It is not fair and there are some major communication gaps between us. No matter what, this need to be addressed.
He had mentioned that he could not stop thinking of me as his "student", bc he has been coaching me for awhile now on my career. WHATEVER!!! What a great excuse to not deal with his own problems. Let's pin them on me. If that is the case, then we need to change our interaction, not file for D! Am I wrong?
I think in a M, we put on a lot of different hats and that is the beauty of it. It gives both of you a lot of support and space to grow.
The more I think about it, the more I think he may have been planning this for the past 4 months. He made me accept the job offer in early Feb. He got a job offer from the same place, but turned it down bc it wasn't enough money; and promising that he would take some other job and we would of course be together. I did not want to buy a home yet, but he really pushed me to do that as well. Thank God I got out of that mess. He was just making sure I would be ok.....so he can go have his MLC and not think about me, bc he set me up as best as anyone could. AHH!! I am so not that helpless of a human being. Really, its a little insulting. I swear I am not this pathetic.
I will live a good life because that is what I have always tried to do. For now, its too fresh to think about the rest of my life. So, for now, I will do my best for today.
Anyways, in an hour, I am getting out of this house to get some self help books and to take my walk and going to the video store to rent "yes man".
Really I have 10 days before my move begins...and life becomes crazy for the next 10 days, until I move into my new apartment.
I am going to make it thru this weekend. I think I have been dreading the weekend.....but, thanks to all of you, I have some renewed energy and positivity. I will make it to 7 pm and then, I will watch a movie. I will do my best to keep to PearlHarbr's Rules...
Have a great day everyone and talk to you all later today.
