confused.....want to do something.....

[pearlharbr]

AK, are you asking about self-help books or fun books?

Full disclosure: I am not a reader. And I am a huge procrastinator. So I really haven't read a lot of books. But what I have read has helped me and a lot of others swear by it too.

Kenn posted a link to a post on suggested self-help books upthread. Here's the link again. I know I've seen lists on other threads but I have no idea where they are.

I think it depends a little bit on your personal sitch and what you want/need to focus on.

Books I've seen mentioned and recommended repeatedly (but haven't personally read):

Learned Optimism
His Needs, Her Needs
Passionate Marriage
Codependent No More
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
The Five Love Languages

Books I have partially or fully read:

Too Good to Leave Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum
A lot of people here hated this book. I read it before I found DR. It leads you through a series of questions and guidelines to help you determine if it's better for you to stay or leave. I know almost all the people here will say they already know they want to stay. But if you aren't 100% sure or are struggling to decide if something is a deal breaker (AK), I think this book is helpful. In fact, I am going to reread it now that I am not 100% sure my R with xBF is the right one for me after everything that has happened.

You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen
John Gray's Mars/Venus book is the one everyone reads, but I read this book as a communications major in college and loved it. I think it probably covers the same gender differences in communication styles: rapport (relationship building) talk vs. report (just the facts) talk. I need to reread this one too.

Learn to Be an Optimist by Lucy MacDonald
Again, Learned Optimism seems to be a favorite, but this is a smaller book with exercises as you go along. Great for a non-reader.

Not "Just Friends" by Shirley Glass
Highly recommended by a lot of people, me included. Looks at how and why emotional affairs start and how to deal with infidelity.

After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring
Another good book for dealing with affairs. This one is more practical with a program to work through together.

Whew! I really hope this was the list you were looking for AK! If you wanted fluff books I'll have to do that tomorrow since it's already past my bedtime.