Latest update. His best friend and his wife are going through a divorce. His best friend's wife has been seeking my H's counsel because he knows her H better than anyone.

However, today in looking at our cell phone bill I see that my H and his best friend's wife are spending a lot of time on the phone together. Interestingly enough a long time on the phone Wednesday morning and Wednesday night is when he pulled back away. I asked him about it today and he said we talk because I know R better than anyone else. She still wants to desperately get back together with him.

I asked my H if he'd shared that we were having problems and he said yes. He said she's encouraging me to make our marriage work. My big concern is that he was not forthcoming with this information because he said I was afraid you'd think there was more to it.

When I arrived home tonight, he actually had dinner made. I thanked him and let him know I had plans to go shopping with my girlfriend. He was pleasant and engaged me in conversation when I got home but he has that mopey, I'm so depressed look on his face.

I'm supposed to go out with the wife this weekend. Here's my dilemna...would it be alright to say something like. I know this has been a very difficult time for you and I know it's been helpful for you to talk to (my H) about things. We both certainly want to be supportive of you. I have noticed that the two of you have been spending a great deal of time together on the phone. As you know, we're struggling with our marriage as well. My concern is that sometimes when people rely on each other for long periods of time emotional attachments happen. I'm really trying to make my marriage work and I have to be honest with you I'm uncomfortable with the amount of time you and (my H) are spending on the phone together.

Do I go further and let her know that on Wednesday I know they had a long phone conversation and that evening it really impacted my H? (although I guess it's an assumption on my part) Also, I thought about saying - think of it this way. What if our roles were reversed. What if your H was spending a lot of time on the phone with me - wouldn't that make you uncomfortable?