New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Thanks for some sound advice. I called my wife tonight for our weekly phone call. Very enjoyable conversation, as if we never parted, as if I was gone somewhere on business and I just called to say Hi. My wife had a very soft spoken voice, very friendly and gentle. I asked about her and her family, and she asked about my family.She even asked how I was doing, and at one point called me by my first name(this doesn't happen often since she left in Jun 08)

Never a word was said about the divorce proceedings. Sometimes I wonder: if she really wanted to push the proceedings and get it over with, she could have done it numerous times or even tonight by asking me all kinds of questions. But the issue never came up (my wife filed end of Jan 09). Is this a good sign? I have no idea.

When I talk with my boys on the phone, I always sound upbeat and ask them how they are doing, When I saw them in March 09, they came up to me one at a time in their own way and told me how much I changed. Each one said I don't yell anymore, I don't let little things upset me anymore, I found my sense of humor again, and I do more things with them as a father. I wonder if they told my wife ...Either way, I get it: the changes must be for me first.

Anyway, Thanks for all of you who have given me some sound advice lately. I know it has to be about me and I must make the changes work for me first.

Thanks for your support.

JR09