Well Kenn, I think the "worst" that I keep worrying about is that I have failed at a marriage without even trying to work it out. That is exactly what I did not want when I decided to marry. I think R can fail. That is a reality and I know it....but, I thought that if you kept it a priority and worked to make it better.......it would.
To lose my M without even a trial...without any effort to correct what has gone wrong.....is hard to accept. How am I supposed to move on with my life and potentially another R when I don't know what went wrong with this one. OK, so I need to be more pro-active.......but, I don't even get a chance to work on that? It seems very pre-mature.
But you are right, I will be in a good place at the end of it.....if I work on myself and just keep improving who I am. The worst thing is that I am divorced and not with my H. Its big, but my life is made up of way more than this M.
I had an ok day until about 6pm.......I spoke to a couple of friends and more or less, I don't know why, but it totally put me in a negative state of mind.
H still has not talked to any of his friends or fam and it is worrying me. I really want to call him. Just to touch base at least........ And, I don't know if I will make it thru the next couple of days without some contact with him.
I cannot call him right? Can I at least just email him to let him know when I am moving? I know I am grasping at straws.....but.......sigh....really, I have to just wait until he decides to call?
I was doing ok this morning....I did not make it thru the day with a PMA.....sigh.
Thank you Kenn and pearlharbr for your post, it has believe it or not given me some hope and strength to just keep moving on. It is not what I want to do right now...but, it is what I will do.
