So another day has come and gone (almost) and I didn't try to talk to Dan, he didn't try to talk to me.
Last night I got home from night class, he was asleep in the kids' room. I shook him, he stirred, I went back out. It was already 9:30...he didn't come out until 10:30 and then he said he was leaving.
I said fine but I was annoyed, mainly b/c he stayed an hour after I got home, sleeping. Don't know why it bugged me, but it did. He doesn't live here, he can go somewhere else and sleep!
He asked what was wrong, I just said there were things we needed to handle but the only time we had the chance without kids around was 10:30/11 at night.
He said we could find a time to talk. I asked what his plans were (meaning kids). He said he was re-roofing his house w/BIL on Fri-Sat-possibly Sun. I just said "OK. Looks like my weekend with the kids, no problem." So I have the kids the next four days. (OK seriously I always have them but he won't even be coming by the next four days, is what I am planning on.)
Before he left I told him that I had gone to talk to the pastor. I hadn't told him that part yet...so I told him that we talked for almost 2 hours, that I had wanted a Biblical perspective on our situation from someone whose opinions I trusted.
[For the record Dan thinks he is a great pastor, straight-shooter, calls-it-like-he-sees-it. So he puts stock in this guy's opinions.}
Dan asked what he had to say. I mentioned nothing about him saying Dan was lost and had a porn problem and all of that. I have learned--he gets defensive when I tell him what the kids say and I figured if I told him what the pastor said he would think that was just my opinions coming out...
So I told him that the pastor said: *Biblically, I had reason to file and that if I chose to, I was not doing anything wrong.
*He also said he would pray for our M to be restored, b/c it is God's will that all marriages be restored if they can be.
*Pastor said he would love to talk to Dan individually and to both of us together to help us sort things out if we were interested
*Pastor suggested I tell Dan ahead of time that I am going to file so he has one last chance to tell me if he wants to work on our marriage, then I may as well go ahead and file.
Dan looked a little surprised, then he said, "Then I will go talk to Perry (pastor) myself."
I just said "Ok, good" and went back to what I was doing and he left. I am not going to ask him about it, he will go if he wants to go and I will not involve myself.
