Thanks so much for your post; it has been without doubt the most traumatic day of my life. I didnt get the barring order; this basically means that because my H is under a protection order he is allowed freely in the house but is under surveillance. My L arrived slightly late, my H arrived a few minutes earlier wearing the suit he married me in which really hurt. He was in fine form , laughing and cracking jokes with his solicitor and with other people waiting to go into the court house. My L spoke with H's L with an offer to carry out an undertaking to agree to stay away from the marital home unless by prior arrangement and agreement.H's L completely rejected this with the only concession that they were willing to make being that when H is having access in the family home I would need to leave. I of course rejected this completely.So into court we went. the battlelines were drawn. I gave my evidence first, the judge asked me a few questions about how I would define the term threat by my H. I answered and then preceded to be cross examined by H's L. It was shocking; he savaged me; suggesting that the separation was amicable until I found out about H's OW, which I denied; accusing me of taking out the orders to try and punish H for being in a new relationship, pinpointing my study and work abroad as being a case for his client to have to have taken on the role of primary carer. One of the most upsetting things is that my H had requested the court to hear a witness. This person is his ex wifes partner, the man who broke up my H's first marriage, he is head of psychology at a university nearby and my H was calling him in to give a psychological assessment of our D7. this was refused thank god. I am shocked and appalled at how my H is working with all of this. he was cold and unemotional, stared at me when I was being slammed by his L. He has also been spreading rumours around the arts community here, suggesting that I am sick in the head, I want everything my own way and that I am impossible to live with. my fear and sneaking suspicion is that he is indeed serious with OW and that they are planning to get d to stay with them. I will fight this hard. I am so destabilised by this man, who looks like my H but is out to ignore and destroy. I feel unprotected, especially emotionally. He has broken my heart and my trust. Sorry I am so low, just a little overwhelmed............
