markhaving probs dropping the rope

[pearlharbr]

Gucci led me through the details of this, so I'll defer to him for the specifics for your sitch.

Here is what I did:

* Whenever xBF wanted to come over to "see the cats" I had to check my schedule to see if that time was good for me. I made all arrangements according to my schedule. I had other plans and ended up never at home when he came over.

* If it ever came up in conversation I was going out of town for the weekend. (I have been traveling a lot lately as part of GAL but even if I didn't have a big trip planned I drove to another city so I literally went out of town.)

* I bought myself flowers and had them in a vase on the kitchen table whenever he came over.

* I had a man's name and phone number written on a pad on the kitchen counter.

* For good measure, in case he went into our/my bedroom, I had some new lingerie lying out on top of my dresser. I also had a how-to-have-better-sex book on my nightstand. (Both these items were purchased to spice up R with xBF before I discovered his affair and kicked him out but I had never shown them to him.)

* Even when we he said he wanted to come back, I refused until he declared that he was finished with OW. Only then did I agree to speak with him on the phone or see him in person.

* When we first started seeing each other in person to talk I did not give him a weekend night for the first few weeks.