markhaving probs dropping the rope

[pearlharbr]

For the record, I think there can be pitfalls to using dating as a tool: you lose the moral high ground (i.e. you may be cheating but I will remain faithful as long as we are married), you can hurt the OP you are dating if you decide to reconcile with WAS, you can decide you like the OP better and choose to leave the marriage even if WAS returns.

If you think you are ready, can handle it, and the pros outweigh the cons, then go for it. But if all of these conditions don't exist, there is another way to use jealousy as a tool without actually dating.

What I (and others) chose to do was to let xBF believe I was dating again. I didn't say I was dating and I would not have lied to him if he asked me point blank, but you can plant the idea in the WAS's mind and let them do with it what they will. Jealousy is jealousy, there doesn't need to be an actual person to inspire it.

And yes, it does work. I haven't discussed it specifically with xBF yet but I know that he thought I was dating and it really bothered him. I'm sure it contributed to him realizing what he was losing and change his mind.