This site has been so much a support to me that I am going to post to you before I head out fishing. (Those that know me, know that I rarely put anything before fishing.)
Stop the dating for right now. I know you don't want to be alone. I understand. It just doesn't fill what you need to fill right now.
Praying will help you. It doesn't have to be fancy. God knows how bad you hurt. Get on your knees and just talk to him like he is sitting right there listening. You don't know it yet, but he is right there waiting for you to lean on him.
No need for any fancy words. Many times my prayers are just simply, God, I can not handle this pain. I hurt and I need help. You will find comfort and He will help you. The more you open up to Him the more He will help.
Do you want to go forward with the D? Stop right now and just reflect. If this is not what you want to do then you have to work on you.
May seem it isn't fair, and in some ways its not, but you can't change anything until you change you.
You need to stretch and grow and be the man that she would want to be with, if that is what you prefer.
I know the feeling of not believing this is happening, or that the person you have been with so long could be doing it. The sooner you accept this is the the reality the better.
It doesn't have to be the end. What do you want?
If she is what you want, if you want your M restored, it starts with you.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
