Puppy - my take on it is this, in the most gentle but blunt way I can think of to say it: She really does NOT want to be divorced from you and she loves you...but she fears that she will not get a good sex life ever in her life if she stays with you.
Now, she obviously doesn't realize that she is half (or more) of the problem with the sex life...she hasn't done enough introspection to really understand that. She is blinded by the very typical but false presumption many women have that her man should "just know" what she needs to be turned on, and if he doesn't give it to her, then he's not the right man for her. This is sad and not true at all, but many many women think this way subconsciously. Many women like your wife do not take the time to disect what attraction is truly all about. She just knows that you and she do not have it going on good, and she blames you for it.
So anyway...my point to you is, I think this is truly what she is afraid of. A dissapointing sex life for the rest of her life. She desperately wants to experience passion and good sex and fun and adventure...she fears that she will not be able to have that with you.
That's why I invited you back over to SSM....to begin discussing how you can get her to see her half of the problem, while at the same time, garnering your own skills so you can start showing her signs that she *just might* get that excitement and passion she is seeking with *you*. You gotta figure out how to change your signals to her....
