Sorry I have not been around in several days. My computer has been in the shop AGAIN!! Anyway, have tried to catch up on your thread and it sounds as if your H is in a major, major MLC if he can tell you all that stuff and turn around and show you that affection and tell you he still loves you, etc. That is worse than what I did! I thought I was mixed up, but man, that is the pits.
I can tell you this much......whether he is in a PA with that girl or not.....he is certainly getting "something" out of the R or he would not pursue it. I think some of it may be that he started out feeling sorry for her and then as he showed her attention and gave her gifts, etc., she reacted in a way that made him feel important and a sense of well-being b/c he was helping this young girl, so it was feeding his emotions. It is like showing a child something amazing to them for the first time. You love the look in their eyes and their excitment, etc. It may have started out like that and then he developed these feelings he doesn't know how to deal with. I believe in his crazy mixed up mind that he still loves you! I really do. But, as a lot of other men that I have read about (seems that men do this more than women), he wants to still show you affection and express his love for you. I have not read where W's in MLC who is involved in an A does that very much, but men......yes, I have read of others doing it, so you are not the only one.
I agree with Jack the Bean. This could last for 3-5 years! Not to pull you down more, but to be candid......you need to decide if you can weather the storm. A storm it will be and you will never know what to expect next from this man. He won't know himself! It is horrible. Maybe people went through this when I was a kid and we just didn't hear as much about it, but I have never heard of so much of MLC like it is happenig now. I don't know what is going to happen to families. I it very tragic.
Which ever way you decide to go, it will take courage and a lot of spunk. We will be here and will try to help you stay strong.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
