You can't control this, as much as you want to. You just can't. Her cheating and abandoning you and your daughter the way she did says NOTHING about you. That's all her.
Your part (some of it)... If you said insensitive things in the past, those will never leave her memory. If you were emotionally and physically unavailable, she had plenty of space for someone else to fill. If you were trying to control her and your daughter in any way... yuck. If you were too harsh or punitive with them, it may have helped her see you as a villain so that she could run around.
It sounds like you are owning up to your past mistakes and that you are committed to working on these things moving forward. You've said all the right things, you've been unwavering with your stance.
Why doesn't she trust you? That is something you might think about right now. Have you gone back on your word in the past? Have you promised and promised and promised but haven't been able to keep whatever that promise was?
