Sounds like standard Nice Guy stuff. Perhaps you've been trained to be a pleaser, which has forced you to sometimes be covert about getting what you want. If this might be true... It isn't good, but it's not your fault and you can/should work on fixing it.
Have you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover? Go to nomoremrniceguy.com to read more!
Lucky
I've read it. It applies. It even makes sense. As I talked about earlier in my threads I spent the early years of my life without a father (killed in Vietnam) and with a (naturally) despondent and unavailable widowed mother.
As I said, I know what it is and I know where it came from. I've even improved quite a bit.
...but really changing it is hard!
My main struggle now is converting my theoretical understanding of the problem into concrete tactical actions.
So far my GAL steps have really helped my self confidence, etc. and some of them have even helped with this issue indirectly, but now I want to attack it head on.
Last edited by Thinker; 05/14/0907:35 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
