Just skimmed your sitch. Sorry you have to go through this. Glad you found this web site. It is a great place for support. Journal and vent here in this thread.
Have you read "Divorce Remedy" yet? If not, I recommend reading it ASAP. The consensus here is NOT to let spouse see/read it. It is your tool to get your relationship back on track.
Here is one thing that worked great for me and others:
Lovingly detach. Love = Patience & Kindness Detach = Project that you enjoy being with spouse BUT don't NEED to be with spouse. FINE LINE HERE. "I am going to do XYZ, if you would like to join me that would be great, but I understand if you don't."
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
