Divorced and really scared.

[cat03]

are you still living with him or something? if not, then why are you telling him your plans to find a place? or is it that he thinks there is still a R going on? stop doing things that are just damaging you.

Whatever you did/didnt do is in the past, and only a very cruel person would rip you up again telling you how little your pain is compared to his.

Forgive yourself, because God already has, who are you to question him? to tell you that he gave his Son up for nothing? he died for all the stuff we did, let him heal you, believe that you are forgiven, because you are.

So, you can either beat up yourself and go nowhere, or you can decide today to move on, find the place you were talking about and DO something NOW.
For crying out loud, STOP talking to him! you get nothing! whatever it is you are trying to get out of him you won't get it, he is angry and unforgiving, stop going back for more punishment.