Trying to detach from the madness!

[blindsided1]

SO2 - I am guilty of the same thought process...."Why wasn't I good enough to love and stay and make him happy...what was so wrong with "me" or here". Honey, it's not YOU. It IS him...believe it. He is, who he is. You could have been the best wife in the world, the most loving, given him everything he ever wanted and needed and it wouldn't have been enough. This is what I am trying to accept. It's hard, I know. You want to believe that they are someone else. That you couldn't be duped and tricked and that the feelings you had together wasn't a lie....at least that is how I feel. I can't speak for you. But, I realize now that I can't control who he chooses, who he loves, if he is going to be a good man or a mean man, a good father or a bad one....he is in his own hands. All we can do is be the best person we can be. If they want the person we are....then WE have the choice, again, to decide if we want the person THEY are. I don't want him the way he is, now. I am loving my life. All aspects except him. Even work. It sucks big time right now...but, I can change that. I can change that. I can't change my H.

Love you. Don't beat yourself up over that crap. He's filling a void. Little does he know....it can't be filled that way...not for long, anyway.