Hi - Not sure which board this belongs on - MLC, Separation, Newcomers??? They are all appropriate. I'm going to post links to my previous posts below, but in a nutshell, I discovered H was having an EA on 2/6. It had started only 2 weeks earlier, but they were already declaring their undying love for one another. H made the choice to leave when given an ultimatum. Felt he had been unhappy and had to see if there was anything to this new relationship. I've been GALing and trying to act upbeat and positive when we see one another, but he is still in the fog. Has acted somewhat strangely about certain things though - my IC says that he is defying all normal behavior of a spouse who wants out of a marriage. But he is showing no signs of wanting to come back. I'm fairly certain this is a major MLC (details in my other posts.)
Anyway, our anniversary is on May 25. He has planned a huge HS reunion (the OW is from HS and they met on Facebook) on the 22nd. Staying with her until the 23 or 24. Writes to me saying that he would like to spend the 25th with me and our dog, Theo having a picnic. He wrote " Being alone on 5/25 is, at least for now, more than I can stand."!!! Then, he left a message basically saying that he would love to see me and that it would be wonderful for the dog (he is getting very old.) Kept bringing up the dog as though that was the reason he wanted to spend the day together.
I have been trying to detach and have been somewhat successful, but am confused by advice given to me by my DB coach, therapist and friends. Some feel that I should go absolutely as dark as possible, while others think that seeing one another and making it really positive will be beneficial. But he is still seeing the OW on the weekends and they are planning some fantasy life together (both are currently unemployed.) Part of me thinks that I have made this way too easy for him. And the other part feels that my behavior in our relationship had gotten very difficult to deal with and that he needs to see me to see the changes I am working hard to make.
