Thinking before speaking is wise in being sure that your message is being sent as intended, authentically and considerate of the receiver's feelings and assumptions. [Example: I am an emotional person, and post based from my gut and heart. Though my intentions are good, my delivery sometimes suffers so that the receiver cannot read the meaning through the haze of being stunned by blatancy.]
Screening or withholding thoughts and emotions so that you will be loved and accepted is not genuine. It is not reflective of what is inside. [Reverse example: In the corporate world, where intimacy is not usually appropriate, it makes sense to communicate strategically with the intent of being accepted, praised, promoted. Perhaps that is why people with intimacy issues do so well in the corporate world (some of my friends call them "corporate robots"... It is an easy place to hide and practice controlling outcomes with people. None of this behavior has any place in a loving, trusting, open R.]
Thinker: I would recommend that you start talking about non-R related topics. Go see a compelling movie together and talk about what you really thought of it. Bring up a memorable experience from your past and talk about how it made you feel. If the topic does not involve her, it is giving you a chance to show that you are open and can be trusted. Could that work for you?
