I guess honestly what i want from him has little to do with me. I want him to show how he cares for his kids but I am looking for him to do it the way I would do it, which is silly. Because he isn't me.
I want the kids to be able to talk to him openly and not be afraid. But the counselor said that kids are smart when it comes to reading grown-ups. They can tell I share their feelings for the most part (I still love their dad and want us together).
Conversely, they can tell that their Dad does not share their feelings, generally speaking. (he is the one who moved out so he must not want us to be together, they do not see him cry or be sad about it like they have seen me on occasion)
Anyway, counselor said they feel safe sharing with me, that is why they share with me and not with him. I just don't want them to have a strained relationship with their dad in years to come because they felt they couldn't be close to him during such a major upheaval in their lives...
I realize I am worrying about something that isn't mine to fix, just want my kids to feel comfortable with both of us.
BBJ...Dan will either make or break a R with his kids..it's as simple as that.
my R with Matthew sucked to be quite honest..simply because I was denied court ordered visitation due to his mothers actions at the time...with no recourse I simply lived through it...I was not allowed to be the father that I could be because of matthew's mothers actions....
I learned from the first D...
Caleigh..is totally different..I get her when I'm supposed to have her and I'm available to get her when I'm not supposed to have her...our R(mine and caleigh's) is what we make of it...we make it with every interaction we have...and I'll say that as far as i know Kim stays out of it...and that's what she should do...I sure would not interject myself in any way in Kim's/caleigh's mother daughter R and would think that Kim would be highly offended if I attempted to...
I'm glad they are in counseling...I hope Dan is doing some of that with them...that's the only way his eyes will be opened IMO..and even then they may not be..
