She won't get it 'til this afternoon. She's taking her mom out to brunch @ Cracker Barrel (a Mother's Day gift), and then she'll have to pick both of the boys up from school. I sent her a text message, tho, and told her she had a long e-mail from me. She's probably wondering what I wrote!!
That letter will be emotional for her. Just be prepared that by the time you get home, she will have built some of her wall back up. DOn't be wishy washy ooey gooey melty man expecting her to rush to you because of the letter. Be the strong, confident man that you are and love her. And, don't forget about the stress relieving action you promised her at night.
That letter will be emotional for her. Just be prepared that by the time you get home, she will have built some of her wall back up. DOn't be wishy washy ooey gooey melty man expecting her to rush to you because of the letter. Be the strong, confident man that you are and love her. And, don't forget about the stress relieving action you promised her at night.
Waitaminute . . . she needs me to be more vulnerable, and more empathetic to her feelings, but when I do, writing an epistle that would make another woman "crawl on broken glass" to me, she's going to . . . PUT HER WALL UP EVEN MORE????
That letter will be emotional for her. Just be prepared that by the time you get home, she will have built some of her wall back up. DOn't be wishy washy ooey gooey melty man expecting her to rush to you because of the letter. Be the strong, confident man that you are and love her. And, don't forget about the stress relieving action you promised her at night.
Waitaminute . . . she needs me to be more vulnerable, and more empathetic to her feelings, but when I do, writing an epistle that would make another woman "crawl on broken glass" to me, she's going to . . . PUT HER WALL UP EVEN MORE????
hey--wait to see what happens before you react!!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
It took a while for that wall to be built up. She is starting to tear it down with her letter to you, and you are starting to tear down yours with your letter to her......baby steps, Puppy....I didn't say it would build the wall even MORE. Just saying it will take work here. All of this didn't happen in a day, and it is going to take more work than one letter. Just like what you wrote to her. Just didn't want you to have this image of what it SHOULD be when you see her. Just let it be whatever it is. Keep talking, keep loving, show her your true love. She WILL reciprocate.
I guess I'm saying to not have expectations, just like you don't want her to have specific expectations of your behavior. You are BOTH working at this. The expectations of what you two are suppose to be like could be that "it" that keeps coming up.
The expectations of what you two are suppose to be like could be that "it" that keeps coming up.
I think that's very close. It's more that "The It" is that we look at each other, and feel viscerally that the other is deeply disappointed in me, and that I'm letting them down. You somehow feel unloved, because YOU are not giving the other the love that THEY need, and they know it, and YOU know it, and you know that THEY know that you know it!!
Does that make sense? I think it's pure enmeshment/co-dependency, but it's what we do. It's a crappy, crappy game that unfortunately we play all too well.
Oh, and I realize that The Wall will take a long time to fully come down. I just was feeling exasperated that it would be up even more from this morning/yesterday, even though I laid my heart out there. But it's what she does.
Sorry, just chiming in... It is what you both do in the cycle that you are currently in – you're breaking that now. So no assuming and drawing conclusions – if you are positive it will show through
